Clear New Year's Resolutions, in Your Own Time
A 2020 poll of 2,000 Americans revealed that it takes just 32 days for the average person to finally break their resolution(s), while 68 percent of Americans report giving up their resolutions even sooner than that. The poll also revealed that one in seven Americans “never actually believe they’ll see their resolution through in the first place.” The top two reasons for unfulfilled New Year’s resolutions are lack of discipline and lack of time and busy schedules.
I started Marcie Walker LLC to help clients own their circumstances and take control of their lives by providing practical tools. I believe change and progress can be achieved through the right tools and techniques. The new year is a great time to start new goals and make changes in your life, but don’t let the peer pressure of the season create stress. Start by making meaningful changes when you are ready. Achieve success this year by adding a happy spin to your new year’s resolutions and creating CLEAR goals.
How to achieve your New Year’s resolutions by creating CLEAR Goals
To create and achieve your new year’s resolutions, create CLEAR Goals.
What are CLEAR goals?
CLEAR goals were first coined by Adam Kreek, an entrepreneur, a motivational speaker, and Olympic gold medalist. He found traditional goals weren’t keeping up with the fast-paced environment most businesses and people find themselves in today. Kreek came up with the acronym CLEAR to describe a new way to set goals.
CLEAR goals are:
- Collaborative: encourage you to work together with others in teams
- Limited: limited in terms of space and scope
- Emotional: tap into your energy and passion to make an emotional connection
- Appreciable: can be broken down into smaller goals
- Refinable: firm objects but flexible enough to change when presented with new information and situations
Use the CLEAR goals model to create and achieve all your goals this new year. Your resolution can be personal or professional, as long as it’s clear and compelling. Make resolutions that can be built, embraced, and achieved by every member of your team, whether your team is your family and friends or an executive team.
Use the NLP techniques and VAKOG system to create new year’s resolutions
Acronyms are great ways to help you remember complex terms and pieces of information. Just like CLEAR goals, NLP techniques and the VAKOG system can help you create new year’s resolutions.
How to use NLP techniques to reach goals
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a psychological modeling approach used by successful people to analyze strategies and apply them to personal goals. NLP techniques help people create change and manifest personal growth in themselves and others.
Start by clarifying what you want and imagine what it means to achieve this goal. Next, you will need to access useful beliefs, states, and strategies to achieve your goal. Finally, you will determine what you will need to stay on track. Goals can be achieved by using NLP techniques and hypnotherapy.
Hypnotherapy can help change restrictive thought patterns and make room for positive development. A hypnotherapist trained in NLP communicates more efficiently with clients and can help develop a winning strategy for improving understanding and motivation for achieving goals and resolutions.
Adopting the VAKOG system
The VAKOG (Visual, Auditive, Kinästhetic, Olfactorially, Gustatoric) system is an NLP technique to describe how we record and store information in our brain through the five senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste). According to the VAKOG system, we use the five senses with a different emphasis to perceive the environment.
Adopt the VAKOG system to engage your senses and achieve your new year’s resolutions! Once engaged, your subconscious brain will drive on a path to create the visuals, sounds, feelings, smells, and tastes on the road to success.
Once again, hypnotherapy can be used in unison with VAKOG to help you create a compelling vision of achieving your new year’s resolutions.
Habits associated with successful resolutions
The key to successful new year’s resolutions is positive thinking. Strengthen your self-image by believing you can change, strengthening your willpower as you work towards your goals. Don’t forget to reward yourself for your ongoing success. Celebrate the successes, no matter how small they may seem.
Avoid temptation and self-sabotage by staying positive and creating healthy habits. Negative thinking will result in the failure of your new year’s resolutions. Do not berate yourself or your progress.
Achieve your new year’s resolutions with a positive attitude
Hypnotherapy can help you achieve your goals this new year by changing your limiting beliefs and mindset. You can achieve anything you set your mind to with the help of a certified hypnotherapist. Contact me to learn how hypnotherapy you achieve your personal and professional goals in 2022.
Success Story - “Michelle”
I opened the door that April evening to a friendly face I had not seen in several years. She greeted me with a warm hug and it was like we never fell out of touch.
She was a new participant in my monthly full moon workshops and was invited by a friend. The workshop was centered around abundance and clearing blocks or beliefs that limit our ability to manifest abundance in our lives.
The rest of the group gathered and chatted. As introductions came to a close, I needed a model to demonstrate the energy clearing technique we were going to use. Michelle (as we will call her to protect her identity) immediately volunteered. Within a few moments, she had tears streaming down her face and burst out “I hate myself.” My heart sank and I could feel her pain.
She became a regular client so we could work through her pain. Here is an outline of Michelle’s behaviors and symptoms and some of the reasons she needed support, from her own words.
Behavior:
- Outspoken, loud, deflecting with humor, self-deprecating jokes. “I’ve always used self-deprecating humor as a defense mechanism. I still do, but not as much as I used to.”
Physical symptoms:
- Bloating
- Poor sleep
- Anxiety and gut pain
Emotional symptoms:
- Feeling like too much and, at the same time, not enough; not worthy
Her Hell:
"My hell was the constant inner dialogue telling me that I was never enough. That I was stupid and slutty, and that I’d never amount to anything. And if I ever asked for any kind of help, I’d shame myself into a deeper self-loathing and self-sabotaging destruction that I didn’t understand until I began hypnotherapy. I always had this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach….like I hated myself and like I didn’t even wanna exist. I thought about suicide after my rape. But that would just perpetuate the painful cycle in my family and I could not have that happen. So I sat with, and faced, the pain and hate of what happened to me.”
How are you now?
"I feel so much better about myself and I actually am beginning to LOVE who I am. Even the girl who hated herself. Hypnotherapy has helped me get to the bottom of my issues and the self-love I now carry with me is indescribable. It’s helped me to understand and accept my anger as well. I no longer carry that pain and suffering. "
What was it costing you:
"My sense of peace within my heart and causing me to unconsciously attract toxic people into my life."
Coping Mechanism:
"I coped by smoking weed all the time and drinking a lot as well. I also noticed when I began struggling with real-life situations (my mom’s diagnosis w/cancer) I turned to cocaine which just made me very physically ill. I couldn’t even function or process what was happening in a healthy way until hypnotherapy!
I tried talk therapy (psychotherapy) for 5 years. “Reportedly, hypnosis has a 93% success rate with fewer sessions than both behavioral and psychotherapy, according to research studies. This led researchers to believe that for changing habits, thought patterns, and actual behavior hypnosis was not only the most effective method but that it needed less time/sessions than other forms of therapy. (Alfred A. Barrios/1970).”
How would you describe a session with Marcie Walker?
"Marcie is a gentle guide who helped me meet and understand my best self with some spikes of intense emotions. I felt safe and supported. I always left feeling less tense and more relaxed and peaceful."
Events Michelle endured and overcome:
- At 6 years old she was molested by her dad’s girlfriend’s son who was 14/15 years old
- Emotional and physical abuse from her stepfather
- Addict parents
- Gang-raped at 18
- Emotionally and physically abused by multiple partners
- “I was diagnosed with borderline Dissociative Personality Disorder while in psychotherapy.”
Fourth Step in Developing Emotional Intelligence: Social Management / Relationship Management
The fourth and final step in developing emotional intelligence is social/relationship management. Before learning about social management, you must first understand:
- How to see yourself clearly through self-awareness,
- How to control your actions and emotions through self-management, and
- How to recognize and understand the emotions of others through social awareness.
What is social management?
Social management is also known as relationship management. Social management and relationship management are used interchangeably in this blog to refer to the same skill. Effective social management allows you to connect with others while helping them feel supported and understood. You must master social management to be a highly effective leader with the power to lead change.
Social management is more than being a friendly and approachable leader. You must inspire and influence others strategically with the power to resolve conflicts as they arise. Effective social relationship management combines self-awareness, self-management, and social awareness to understand the causes and effects of social situations.
The four parts of effective social management
Effective social relationship management is when you decide how to best interact with others to achieve the outcome to best suit your needs (or the needs of others). This process can be divided into four parts: decision, interaction, outcome, and need.
Decision. Your decision is based on the best course of action in a particular situation. To understand why others feel the way they do, your decision should be driven by research. Decide the best course of action based on the possible interactions and reactions that may occur.
Interaction. The interaction refers to how you will behave in a particular situation. Interactions are based on research, such as previous interactions with other people or social groups.
Outcome. The outcome refers to what you want to achieve through your interactions.
Need. Your need (or the needs of others) will guide the outcome. In the workplace, it can refer to personal or business needs.
How to improve relationship management
Continue to refine and develop your emotional intelligence
Do not be afraid to go back to the basics and be a lifelong learner. You can improve your relationship management by continuing to work on the first three steps of developing emotional intelligence. Your self-awareness, self-management, and social awareness have unlimited potential.
Be a catalyst for change
The Dalai Lama said, “All sentient beings possess awareness, but among them, human beings possess great intelligence. Subject to a constant stream of positive and negative thoughts and emotions, what distinguishes us as human beings is that we are capable of positive change.”
As a leader, you must be a catalyst for change and understand how you can support the process of positive change. Communicate why change is needed and help others embrace it by being a supporter of the process every step of the way.
Hypnotherapy
Hypnotism can be a powerful tool to improve your social relationship management. Hypnosis can encourage you to foster powerful connections with others. Through my body-centered hypnotherapy, I can help you gain the confidence you need to manage your personal and professional relationships.
Develop higher emotional intelligence with the help of Marcie Walker
I can help you develop higher emotional intelligence by helping you advance your self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and social management skills. I focus on holistic wellness through brain-based coaching and body-centered hypnotherapy using the 5-Step PAUSE Model. Contact me for more information about how I can help you develop higher emotional intelligence through hypnotherapy and executive coaching.
Third Step in Developing Emotional Intelligence: Social-Awareness
By now, you probably understand the first two steps: self-awareness and self-management. The third step in developing emotional intelligence is social awareness. As you continue developing higher emotional intelligence, it is essential that you understand social awareness.
What is social awareness?
Social awareness is the ability to identify and understand the emotions of other people. Great social awareness involves considering the perspectives of others while trying to understand their perspective during interactions.
Leaders must understand the feelings and actions of peers and team members while learning to behave in different situations.
When practicing social awareness, leaders need to:
- Listen to what others have to say while eliminating preexisting biases.
- Avoid anticipating the answers of others before they speak.
- Listen carefully before responding to a question or request.
The role of social awareness in the workplace
According to Forbes, the three core aspects of social awareness are empathy, organizational awareness, and service orientation.
Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others emotionally. The actions people take are based on emotions. An empathic leader effectively addresses any issues among teams and other peers by understanding how they feel in any given situation.
Organizational awareness
Organizational awareness is the understanding of a workplace and its culture. A leader with social awareness knows the mission and vision of their organization and understands the contributions of each employee. An organizational level of awareness helps you make the right decisions to maximize rewards and avoid trouble.
Service orientation
Service orientation refers to the understanding of clients and their needs. As a leader, you need to be able to understand the best way to give people what they need.
How to improve social awareness
A leader with great social awareness is present in every interaction with keen listening and observational skills. Listening is the key to understanding facts free of judgment and analyzing the emotions of other people. By truly listening, you can discover how you can help your team and organization succeed.
Three ways to improve social awareness
- Look for visual cues. Observing and analyzing visual cues requires you to be present in the conversation. Actively listening while analyzing facial expressions and body language gives the most profound understanding of any social situation.
- Be aware of tone. Tone is the best indicator when speaking on the phone or meeting virtually. Sensing tone will tell you how someone truly feels when they may be conveying the opposite.
- Read the room. Mastering social awareness by sensing the energy of everyone in an environment. What is going on between employees? Is there tension that needs to be resolved? How can you help?
Move forward with better social awareness
You cannot be a successful leader if you do not have social awareness. Social awareness helps you build trust with your team and gives you a better understanding of how your employees feel and react. Contact me for more information on how I can help you reach your organizational goals through better social awareness.
Second Step in Developing Emotional Intelligence: Self-Management
To be a successful manager, you need to have a good understanding of emotional intelligence, how well developed your own EI, is and how to use it to achieve your objectives. I previously discussed self-awareness is the first step in developing emotional intelligence. The second step in developing emotional intelligence is self-management.
What is self-management?
Self-management is our ability to manage our actions, behaviors, thoughts, and emotions productively. The self-management facet of emotional intelligence builds based on self-awareness and is simply the ability to control your emotions so that they don’t control you.
Self-management involves using what you know about your emotions to manage them in such a way as to generate positive interactions with others and motivate yourself in all situations. People with strong self-management skills know what to do and how to act in different situations.
Self-management skills extend beyond the workplace into personal life. Self-management means you understand your responsibility in different aspects of your life, and you do what you need to fulfill that responsibility. The very act of acknowledging the fact that you are feeling a negative emotion goes a long way to preventing you from losing control of your behavior.
The role of self-management in the workplace
According to Indeed, self-management skills “allow you to maximize your productivity, improve your workplace performance and efficiently achieve professional goals.”
Self-management is an essential part of a functional organization and a skill for everyone, not just leaders in positions of power. In “12 Rules for Self-Management,” Rosa Say wrote, “Management is not just for managers, just as leadership is not only for leaders. We all manage, and we all lead.” Say argues an organization where “everyone lives and works by self-managing” is a “business destined for greatness.”
The role of leaders and managers is to empower team members across their organization to self-manage. Effective self-management allows employees to make good decisions by being more innovative and resourceful. When individual team members understand their responsibilities and goals, they can make better decisions that positively impact the rest of the team and organization.
How to improve self-management skills
Someone with poor self-management may stay up late when they need to wake up early, procrastinate when they have a deadline, and become irritated when a project doesn’t go their way. However, you don’t need to meet any warning signs to decide if you need to improve your self-management. Like all other aspects of emotional intelligence, self-management skills can be improved, refined, and mastered.
Five ways to improve your self-management skills
- Know your values. When you identify your values and make choices that align with them, it’s easier to make decisions. Speak up for what you believe in and be willing to stand up for it. When your values are clear and defined, it helps others understand you and how you behave.
- Build trust. Start to build trust with others by being honest and keeping your promises. Building trust will help others believe what you say and confide in you. Be willing to trust others, and they will return the favor.
- Accept accountability. As your responsibilities increase, your level of accountability increases as well. When faced with negative results, don’t be a victim or a martyr. Instead, accept accountability and look towards the future with enthusiasm and newfound wisdom.
- Have a good work ethic. Having a good work ethic can be as simple as always being polite, professional, and on time. Lead by example and set the tone for all aspects of life by showing others you care.
- Take care of your body and mind. Eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, and staying active are the foundation of self-care. My integrative health and wellness program is designed to evaluate all factors that influence health, wellness, and disease processes by focusing on the body, mind, spirit, and community.
Improve your self-management skills with an experienced expert
Self-management is an essential skill in our personal and professional lives that can be continuously refined and improved. Together we can determine in what ways you excel at self-management and where you might need to improve. Contact me to learn how I can help you improve your self-management skills.
