Reclaiming Pleasure, Confidence, and Connection: A Midlife Awakening with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers
Have you ever felt like something was missing in your relationship with your body or your pleasure—but couldn’t quite put your finger on it?
You’re not alone.
In our latest episode of The Wild Sage Society Podcast, I sat down with the brilliant and compassionate Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, renowned sex therapist, researcher, and author of Sex, God, and the Conservative Church and Shameless Parenting. Together, we peeled back the layers of silence, shame, and cultural conditioning to explore what it really means to live with embodied confidence, sensual wholeness, and radical self-worth—especially in midlife.
The Hidden Impact of Sexual Shame
Dr. Sellers opened our eyes to a profound truth: sexual shame is a visceral experience that lives in the body, not just the mind. For many of us, this shame started early—through silence, confusion, or punitive reactions to our natural curiosities as children.
“We are hardwired for connection and pleasure,” she said. “But when those needs are shamed, we internalize a belief that something is wrong with us.”
The result? Disconnection. From ourselves. From our desires. From the deep emotional and physical intimacy we all deserve.
Why Midlife is a Portal to Reclamation
Dr. Sellers believes midlife is not a crisis—it’s an invitation. An invitation to reflect, reconnect, and reclaim the parts of ourselves that were buried under people-pleasing, performance, and patriarchal programming.
Whether you’re experiencing shifts in libido, navigating menopause, or finally confronting long-held wounds, this season of life offers a sacred opportunity to rewrite your story.
“Your power is in your pleasure,” she reminded us. “Your pleasure can heal you.”
Healing Begins with Emotional Safety
So how do we begin? Dr. Sellers lays out a powerful four-step model for healing called FRAME:
- Frame: Re-educate yourself with comprehensive, affirming, sex-positive information.
- Name: Share your story with someone who can meet you with empathy.
- Claim: Reconnect with your body as good, just as it is—no changes required.
- Aim: Decide how you want to live and love moving forward.
This framework isn't just about sexuality—it's a call to return home to your truth, wholeness, and worthiness.
From Performative Sex to Sacred Intimacy
Dr. Sellers also unpacked the difference between performative sex (what culture teaches us) and true intimacy (what we actually crave). Through emotionally intelligent communication, couples can co-create experiences that feel nourishing, playful, and connected—whether that’s a sensual bath, a cuddle session, or full-on passion.
We’re not talking Cosmo tips. We’re talking soulful, attuned, healing intimacy.
For the Women Who’ve Been Told to "Give, Give, Give"
Let’s get real: Many of us have been conditioned to be givers—to everyone but ourselves. And it shows up not just in our relationships, but in our bank accounts, our energy, our boundaries.
Dr. Sellers beautifully reframed this dynamic: “Your job now is to become a gracious receiver. Let others experience the joy of giving to you. You're worthy of that.”
This hit home for me—and for many of you, I’m sure.
What If Your Sexuality Was Sacred?
Whether you were raised in silence, shame, or a culture that told you your pleasure was dangerous, this conversation is a balm and a breakthrough.
You are not broken.
You are not too much.
You are not too late.
You are worthy of love, connection, and radiant pleasure—right here, right now, in the body you live in today.
✨ Ready to Dive Deeper?
💌 Download Dr. Sellers’ free resource The Sexual Reclamation Project and begin rewriting your story with compassion and clarity.
📚 Explore her transformative books:
- Sex, God, and the Conservative Church
- Shameless Parenting
📲 Connect with her on Instagram @DrTinaShameless
0 Comments