Recently the American Institute of Stress published its newsletter containing an article from a stress management coach about how “tweaking” our lifestyle plays a part in managing stress. Although I wholeheartedly agree that lifestyle tweaks do have a positive effect on our stress management; I would like to offer an alternative and deeper perspective from someone who struggled with a debilitating stress-related illness or autoimmune disease.
From the vantage point of both my personal experience and of those high-achieving women I serve, the physical impacts of stress are a symptom of a deeper problem. In most cases, the strong, intelligent, and capable women that I know and coach, think they can handle the stress on their own. And oftentimes they are looking for tools to do more with less time or resources until the symptoms that were once manageable have now become an illness or a major health crisis. These types of health crises arise after prolonged periods of chronic stress, burnout, and or living in a state of constant fight or flight.
So what’s the difference between stress, burnout, and fight or flight?
Stress by definition is “a complicated cascade of physical and biochemical responses to powerful emotional stimuli”, meaning that stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances; for instance:
- Threats to survival
- Certain vs uncertain circumstances
- A constant state of change
- Unfinished business
- Unachieved goals or unrealized passions
Constant stress is often considered a risk factor for such diverse conditions as colds, insomnia, migraines, infertility, chronic pain, high blood pressure, and even heart disease.
The fight-or-flight response (also known as the acute stress response), refers to a physiological reaction that occurs when we are in the presence of something that is mentally or physically terrifying. It is characterized by an increase in heart rate and blood pressure, elevation of glucose levels in the blood, and redistribution of blood from the digestive tract to the muscles. Fight-or-flight is our unconscious and automatic way to prepare our bodies to either fight or run from the perceived stressor, based on our prior learning of how to handle terrifying or stressful events.
Stress is a natural part of life and how we choose to respond to our stressor(s) is based on our subconscious responses. We are walking & talking habits & patterns constantly assigning meaning, based on prior experiences, and learned behaviors, formed by limiting beliefs and “programming” OR conditioning. We are unaware that we are constantly looking for threats and addressing problems or concerns, in order to achieve duplicatable results or to create certainty.
When most people think of burnout they think of their job or dead-end career. Interestingly enough, even before the pandemic, workplace stress was a 190 Billion Dollar industry affecting companies, large or small, financially and with their largest resource… their employees. Even with those astonishing numbers, the World Health Organization (WHO) called burnout “An Occupational Phenomenon; a syndrome and not a medical condition”. Depending upon your level of burnout, the impact on your mental health may include:
- Confusion
- Feelings of isolation
- Obsessive-compulsive tendencies
I’m not sure why burnout is not considered a medical condition but I think that needs to be reevaluated. Why? Because chronic stress and burnout left unmanaged are linked to six leading causes of death:
- Heart disease
- Cancer
- Lung ailments
- Accidents
- Cirrhosis of liver
- Suicide
Stay with me as I nerd out and explain how stress transmutes into illness. As previously mentioned stress is “a complicated cascade of physical and biochemical responses to powerful emotional stimuli”. Physiologically, emotions are themselves electrical, chemical, and hormonal discharges of the human nervous system. Think Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, Endorphins, and Cortisol. Emotions influence--and are influenced by--the functioning of our major organs, the integrity of our immune system, and the workings of the many circulating biological substances that help govern the body’s states. When emotions are repressed, as a self-defense mechanism in childhood for security, this inhibition disarms the body’s defenses against illness. Repression--dissociating emotions from awareness and relegating them to the unconscious realm--disorganizes and confuses our physiological defenses so that in some people these defenses go awry, becoming the destroyer of health rather than its protectors or simply an immune system disorder.
Our senses send more information to the brain than we can process--our mindset is the filter that determines how we interpret and REACT to that information. Our current frame of mind plays a VERY important role in every process. It is difficult to be open to meaningful change with sustainable transformation if you are feeling stressed, burnt out, or in a “fight or flight” state. Heck, studies show that cognitive function decreases during times of stress, and making even the smallest of decisions becomes challenging. Confusion, forgetfulness, and brain fog are common symptoms of prolonged states of chronic stress and burnout because our brain has automatically immobilized resources to other areas of our bodies, to run from that perceived terrifying “tiger”.
It is in states of prolonged chronic pressure, exhaustion, brain fog, impaired digestion, depression, etc that we have a health crisis that brings us to our knees and invites us to reevaluate our lives, relationships, and careers because something has got to give. It is usually in these moments we have a breakdown to a breakthrough period of our lives, as pain is the biggest catalyst to change.
It is a sensitive matter to raise the possibility that the way people have been conditioned to live their lives may contribute to their illness. In healing, every bit of information, every piece of the truth, may be crucial. If a link exists between emotions and physiology, not informing people of this link deprives them of a powerful tool.
So the question is if 90% of our thinking, feeling, judging, and acting is driven by our automatic responses or processes; what are the lifestyle tweaks you and ARE willing to make that would have a serious and beneficial effect on your health, energy, and vitality?
To me, chronic stress, burnout, and a prolonged state of fight or flight are indicators that the survival mechanisms you learned and kept you alive (or productive and achieving in the workplace) have now become toxic.
Your health crisis is an opportunity to evaluate and illuminate the factors in your life that are contributing to and draining you of your precious and valuable energy or life force.
While we all dread being blamed, we all would wish to be more responsible--that is, to have the ability to respond with awareness to the circumstances of our lives rather than just reacting. We want to be the authoritative person in our own lives: in charge, able to make authentic decisions that affect us. There is no true responsibility without awareness.
A mindset is a set of attitudes we hold; beliefs that determine how we handle situations.
In most cases, our beliefs are not our own. We’ve been brainwashed. Unconscious beliefs are embedded at a cellular level from birth. Our mindsets help us spot opportunities & trap us in self-defeating cycles. Hello, self-sabotage!
The adults during our upbringing passed on to us their personal views of the world. They taught us opinions about everything & everyone, what we are, what we are not, what we can do, what we cannot do, they told us their opinions about everybody & what they thought of themselves. It is like downloading a program onto a computer.
Maybe the adults in your life even decided what you’re supposed to believe but in order for any of their opinions or points of view or beliefs to begin to take hold, you had to agree in order to be accepted which is built into our species as a requirement of survival.
Unfortunately, if our view of the world is infected with irrational fear, it acts like a virus in the program creating agreements & eventually beliefs anchored in the very same fear. A baby doesn’t have a religious belief, a political party affiliation, or a favorite sports team. They are not racists, homophobic, liberal, or conservative. It doesn’t judge the world as dangerous, scarce, unfair, biased, or discriminatory. It doesn’t have body image issues, fear of failure, or hang-ups about money. All those beliefs will be programmed into it, all those beliefs will be unconsciously adopted or unconsciously rebelled against.
Recorded in the brain cells of every person are these videotapes of every childhood experience & feeling you’ve ever had including fear, love, anger, joy, dependency, demandingness, insecurity, self-centeredness, and inadequacy, all these feelings are these little video tapes. These conditioned beliefs about ourselves and the world are continuing to author your story. These beliefs continue to shape your destiny but they don’t have to.
What I do as a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, is to help clients become aware of any “automatic defensive coping mechanism (from infancy or childhood) that hardens into a fixed personality pattern”. Clients learn practical tools & processes to unwind any blocks, beliefs, & patterns that keep them feeling “stuck”, exhausted & overwhelmed.
As a Certified Dharma and Spiritual Life Coach, help clients answer the unanswered call in their life to be better or do more with their lives. Clients discover their innate superpowers and we co-create an action plan toward their goals.
If you or someone you know is feeling “stuck”, exhausted, overwhelmed, or like their life is missing purpose, please reach out. I’m here for you!
I remember it like it was yesterday, it was 2007, and I was at Wingfield Park in downtown Reno for Earth Day. In the distance, I saw this woman dancing freely in the park with a hula hoop as her prop. I approached her and promptly bought a custom-made hula hoop from her. I was hooked instantly. My hula hoop became my best friend and I took a deep dive into the “hooping” culture. Truthfully, I was obsessed with how I felt when I was learning all the tricks and moves I could from YouTube or at in-person workshops. I traveled to Oakland, Bend, and Hawaii then hosted workshops locally for the chance to learn from anyone and everyone I could.
In 2011, I founded Hoop-O-Lution and ran hoop classes out of various yoga and dance studios in Reno until 2014 when family priorities needed to shift.
What that spinning prop taught me ranged from centrifugal force to embodiment. I learned about healthy boundaries, how to find my flow state, and discovered grace for myself. I firmly believe that the hula hoop and hooping was a catalyst for my growth and are responsible for where I am now in my life.
During the pandemic, I saw an opportunity to start teaching beginner hoop dance classes again. I currently teach classes every Wednesday night as a way to help me and others shed their covid pounds and connect with others at a safe distance.
Reflecting on my personal journey with the hula hoop I am reminded of the testimonial I received from a local chiropractor about the health benefits of hula hooping.
“As a Chiropractor, I am constantly seeking new and better ways to treat and rehabilitate and empower my patients naturally. The Hula Hoop is a wonderful tool for accomplishing these goals and more for my patients.
It is tough finding pleasant and doable exercises for improving the health and strength and general functionality of the core of the musculoskeletal system. We hear about “strengthening the core” which is truly important, making it critical for spinal health and stability. Hula hooping is ideal for this function and is easily done by most patients.
What is less apparent is the role hooping has in keeping the nervous system happy and healthy. While those spinning hoops are exercising the core and other muscles their action is coordinating and organizing the nervous system at gross and fine levels. Also, the use of the Hula Hoop is supporting and improves the overall brain health and activity keeping it young and alive.
And finally, I have to share that I am a hoopster. I add the hula hoop to every morning exercise routine and find it has added much to my fitness as well as the fun of exercise. I have hoops at the office and home for invigoration breaks as well. Hooping is healthy and smart! ~ From: Dr. Clyde Porter
If you are local, I invite you to come give hula hooping a try and bring a friend!! To reserve a spot, click here!
Deepak Chopra stated in his book The Spiritual Laws of Success – “Success in life could be defined as the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals. Success is the ability to fulfill your desires with effortless ease.”
Deepak continues “There are many aspects to success; material wealth is only one component. Moreover, success is a journey, not a destination. Material abundance, in all its expressions, happens to be one of those things that makes the journey more enjoyable. But success also includes good health, energy and enthusiasm for life, relationships, creative freedom, emotional and psychological stability, a sense of well-being, and a peace of mind.”
My journey as a hula hoop instructor and in becoming a Certified Dharma and Spiritual Life Coach has given me the understanding and language to help clients find grace in their own journeys in life. Finding flow in your career and success in life is not a linear straight line but rather a spiral. Sahara Rose, co-founder of the Dharma Coaching Institute states, “seeing your dharma as a spiral shape rather than a linear line – it forever continues and deepens. There is no such thing as taking a step back – you are simply moving next to the next iteration of your dharma.”
I invite you to grab your journal, sit in a quiet area and get ready to do some self-reflection, as I gratefully introduce the Five Stages of Dharma as written by the Dharma Coaching Institute!
Stage 1: Self-Awareness
This is when you realize something needs to change, and when you realize that your life is not in the place that you want to be. You may start questioning what else is out there.
The goal of the Self-Awareness stage is to become, you first must become a vibrational match for your dharma by taking care of your mind and body first, otherwise, you will not be in the energetic state to live your dharma.
Stage 2: Self-Improvement:
You start exploring the world of self-help and self-development with your mind and body. This stage helps you raise your energy so you can match the vibration of your dharma. You are more than a mind and body and soon discover that you are not broken, and there is nothing to fix, improve or “hack”. This stage is about getting to know yourself and deepening your connection to your true nature. You understand that your dharma is so much more than yourtheir career or job, but rather your their mission statement that connects everything you do.
Stage 3: Spiritual Awakening is when your focus shifts from “fixing yourself” to getting to really know yourself. You dive deeper into all practices that allow you to know yourself at a deeper level. You find the tools and practices that work for you. At this point, you may feel frazzled, burnt out, unintegrated, “me against the world”, alone or crazy. In this stage, you realize that you are a part of this world and have a role to play. This is when you find the tools and practices that work for you and discover modalities that resonate with you. This stage requires focus, commitment and reclaiming your energetic sovereignty.
Stage 4: Dharma Development helps you find more grounding in the way you see the world. You understand you have a special role to play in the world. You look for the ways to develop and live your dharma. You discover your own unique way to approach the world and start to share it. At this point, you know deeply about your area of interest but may not have found your own voice or interpretation of it.
Stage 5: Dharma Embodiment is when the “inner you” and “outer you” merge. Your focus shifts from “me” to “we”, on the ways you can be of service to humanity. Here is where you have to let go of control and learn to trust in the guidance of your Dharma. At this point, you are already living your dharma. In this stage fear of giving up/being judged/pivoting shows up here.
Journal prompts:
- What is your greatest need? Mind? Body?
- What is your morning practice/ritual? Exercise routine? Evening practice/ritual?
- Are your daily habits supporting or inhibiting you in living your dharma?
- How do you speak to yourself? Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself?
- Do you have boundaries with family, friends and co-workers?
- How do you practice self-love?
- What is exciting to you right now?
- What are you curious about?
- What is no longer in alignment?
A gentle reminder that you are safe to change. Everything in life is always changing. Your dharma is to be the truest expression of who you are now. You are not tied to your past – it was an experience to guide you into what is meant to come next.
Founder of Marcie Walker LLC in Reno, NV, Marcie is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist; Practitioner, Neuro Linguistic Psychology; Certified Executive and Leadership Development Coach; Certified Life Coach; and an intuitive leader. Her area of specialization is working with people who are having difficulty living their lives to the fullest including those who have developed immune disorders and those who have experienced trauma.
Practicing living her own life to the fullest, Marcie is also the Founder and inaugural Reno Chapter Director for POWHer of WE, a women entrepreneur and business owner membership community; a Hula Hoop Dance Instructor teaching weekly hula hooping classes allowing people to relax and relieve stress while getting a fun workout; and is in the process of actualizing her lifelong dream of creating a holistic wellness center.
There isn’t a perfect path to finding and living our dharma or soul’s purpose.
Dharma is to be the fullest expression of who you are. Chances are that your journey to this very moment may be a combination of multiple experiences that have pointed you in the direction of your dharma. Oftentimes we may even have been on our path to our purpose without even realizing it. This blog is intended to define the four types of dharma and to provide you with powerful questions so you can discover how you express your dharma in four steps. I invite you to grab your journal, find a quiet spot then reflect and journal when prompted. Ready? Here we go….
Step 1: Take a few moments and recall a time in your life when you completed a task or project with effortless ease. Whatever you were doing just felt right, you had a burst of energy and motivation while completing it, while others may have struggled.
This brings us to the first type of dharma: The natural-born gift.
The natural-born gift, whether you use it every day or not, is a talent or skill that comes easily to you without even having to think about it. And, even though you’re naturally gifted you must still work on developing it then you share it with others. Some examples include:
- Voice, musical ability
- Athletic, dance, movement ability
- Charisma, communication
- Attention to detail, focus
- Listening, relating, conversing
- Hosting, organizing
Still unsure what your natural-born gift is? It’s okay, most people I coach have difficulty acknowledging or owning their natural talents. I invite you to dive into these journal prompts:
- What have you realized comes easily to you that doesn’t others?
- What are your natural-born gifts?
- What were you good at as a kid?
- What do people compliment you on?
- What comes second nature to you?
Step 2: Now take a moment to recall a time in your life when an event or situation brought you to your knees, you picked yourself up, figured out how to overcome that situation and people are now asking you what your secret is/was.
This is an example of the second type of dharma: The Breakdown and Breakthrough Dharma. You have a breakdown that results in a breakthrough, and this is when you discover your dharma after a difficult time in your life. The key lessons in these difficult moments have given your life meaning and allowed you to help yourself and others heal.
Sahara Rose, co-founder of the Dharma Coaching Institute says “Your pain becomes your purpose, and your mess becomes your message”. Examples of this type of dharma include:
- Mental health challenges (anxiety, depression, loneliness, grief, hopelessness, etc.)
- Physical health challenges
- Identity crisis live a divorce/break-up or an empty nest
- Addiction
- Poverty
- Tragic loss, trauma
- Job loss
- Or any other “on your knees” moment
Step 2 journal prompts:
- Have you ever hit rock bottom, had a tragedy, or a time you didn’t know how you could move forward? What was it like for you?
- How did you overcome it?
- What lessons did you learn along the way?
- How could you use the lessons you’ve learned to serve others?
- Are there other people going through similar challenges?
- How can you support them?
Step 3: Recall a time in your life when you were faced with a challenge that you found a solution for. Those kinds of solutions where you had a need and solved it, are the third type of dharma.
There you are, you’ve overcome obstacles or a big challenge and now you are helping others do the same. You understand that there is no obstacle too big or too small that cannot be overcome. Examples:
- A specific product you wish existed
- Wishing you had a certain type of community/support
- Struggling with social anxiety
- Moving around often as a child and needing to make new friends
- Needing a natural remedy
- Feeling disconnected fromto your body
Lastly, have you ever solved an issue for a family member or friend around you that would be a benefit to others? Has there been someone in your life that had an obstacle that they overcome that you felt compelled to find a solution for? Maybe someone close had fallen ill and was suffering, so now you help others deal with the same. You don’t have to personally have gone through the issue to want to be part of the solution.
This is the fourth type of dharma: People around you needed something, and you found a solution to help others overcome obstacles.
Examples:
- Parents having an illness or challenge
- Helping friends with their health journey
- Supporting people around you with mental health
- Issue in your community
- Environment, human rights, activism
Step 3 journal prompts:
- What are some obstacles you’ve had in your life that you’ve overcome?
- What is a need you have right now for a product/solution/service?
- What is your approach to overcoming this obstacle?
- How can others benefit from this approach?
- What ideas do you have for solving a common problem?
- If you were on Shark Tank, what would your idea be?
- How do you believe your privileges have put you in a position to be of service to others?
- What obstacle are you passionate about solving?
- What topic are you interested in learning more about?
- What are you called to study?
- What are you curious about?
For me, my auto-immune/stress-relatedstress related illness helped me learn how to manage my energy better and woke me up to the fact that I was out of alignment with my values and purpose. After I resigned from my corporate job, my auto-immune symptoms went away within three weeks. If you are curious about what your energy management score is or how you can manage your stress better take my Energy Management Quiz. Or, if you are curious about learning more about your dharma type, please send me a message and let’s connect!
